Inmates learned it. You can, too.

For several years I wrote what I called my Prairie Dog Quadrilateral. It was sort of an upscale letter for some relatives, some friends, and anyone else who heard about it and wanted to be on my mailing list. This was my PDQ of January 19, 2014. I’ve edited it a bit by not much.

… 

I think this is probably my Mission Statement. 

“Don’t underestimate yourself or anyone else.”

This is probably why I have a fair amount of fun working in a jail. I work with people who have become used to being defeated. I like being one of the people on earth who can point out things in them that are good and cool and strong.

One of the things I say pretty often is, “Weakness and strengths are the same thing, just depends on how and when you look at them.”

This is helpful, of course, when one is IN a job interview. When they ask you (and they always do) “What is your greatest weakness?” the clever thing is to think about this ahead of time. Consider as truthfully as possible what one’s great strength is, then turn that upside down and explain it.

“My strength is that I am very organized and don’t relax until the task at hand is in a good process towards being completed.  My greatest weakness is that I don’t like to have big chaotic tasks thrown at me when there isn’t enough time to complete a job right. Though I have noticed at each job I have had, that as time goes on and I get familiar with what I am supposed to do, my brain organizes my duties, I learn how to stack, stagger, and multitask at my work so that I get more accomplished in a day than most.”

Or

“My strength is that I am very friendly. I really like people, and it can look as though I am spending more time with customers than others do and that may look inefficient. But I am always aware I am not hired to stand around and chat. Over time, what’s always been noticed is that I build loyalty in customers which becomes profits for the business.”

Or

“I have been working with and around machinery all my life. I can operate machines, understand them, and fix them. My greatest weakness is that I am a heroin addict, so you will be lucky if I show up for work five days in a row… Of course, this means you can get a $50,000 mechanic for $8 an hour if you hire me. I am a grown-up on sale…”

Of course, this last answer is NOT what I tell folks to say! This is the point at which we laugh as I remind them that even though they have huge personal problems that they will spend their lives battling, at the same time, they are people who know things, can do things, and who can be very valuable workers. 

How do I know this “trick”? Um, I admit I spent decades of my life feeling guilty that I am not an early riser. Those of you related to me know the people from whence I came – and boy, they were not slackers!  They were up, dressed, and working before the sun could say the same. 

In grammar school I had EGGS and BACON for breakfast – my mom would get up and SET THE TABLE and COOK MEALS for us before school; this in a world without dishwashers!

And as is also well known by family, my mom was not a stay-at-home mom. After she made, served, and cleaned up breakfast, mom would take off her apron and walk to the print shop which was located a convenient (?) 300 feet from our house where she would put in four to eight hours days, depending on what needed to be done. Billing and bookkeeping. Talking to customers. Typesetting. Assisting and supervising.  Then when that day was done, she’d walk back to the house to cook and serve and clean-up dinner (we kids had to help with that). Then she generally would go to a church meeting in the evening.

It makes my head ache to consider how much she did.

Possibly, my dad worked harder. My dark joke about him is that he died at 48 because he already had everything checked off his Life’s To-Do List, he just did it in twenty years instead of forty. 

My sister and brother picked up this mantle and ran with it. Up early, work hard, do a lot.

And then there was me. A lot of my home life was a little intense so I learned the “skill” of staying in bed and out of the way.  Yes, there was talk when I was a kid of how lazy I was, which it made me feel bad, but I survived. No one hurt me and I was loved.

My greatest weakness was (as they all told me) my laziness. Guess what lazy kids sometimes turn into? People with ideas in their heads. People who read a lot. People who think about things. People who hang back to watch and listen. Yup, my weakness is my strength; there you go.

I also have a weakness for donuts, and frankly this goes back and forth – but I KNOW how to make donuts from-scratch. A dangerous strength.

This strength and weakness stuff can be profound or it can be funny, but if you are feeling down about yourself it can be a helpful way to consider your life. It’s why you need to stop putting yourself down as forgetful or dumb, too fat, clumsy, unable to smooth all the foibles of all the people around you, physically challenged, messy, or a lousy cook.

You aren’t stupid; you just manage your attention in narrower areas than others.

You aren’t computer illiterate; you’re pencil gifted.

Can’t see very well? How’s your hearing?

Walk slowly? Are you seeing more?

Too heavy?  Your weakness is that you need more people around you when you eat to help polish off all that great food you know how to prepare and obtain. Maybe you could adopt part of a refugee camp?

I love sunflowers. Do you remember sunflowers’ best trick? Follow the light.

Don’t get all caught up in strengths and weaknesses. Don’t apologize and don’t give up.

Find some light and grow towards it. Let’s use our strengths AND our weaknesses to fight for peace, justice, and each other. 

Happy New Year