Mary Beth Writes

Are we feeling the relief? Relief that we can see George Floyd’s face, his profile, that awful image of him under Chauvin’s knee – and feel some accountable closure to such a brazen murder?

I guess at least now, if one is a person of color and an officer kills you, I suppose they can kill you for a minute and still expect to get away with it but nine minutes is too long. Yes, that’s a cynical thing to say. We knew cops were entitled, but it's only in the past few years – because of cellphones – we have seen this entitled violence play out before our eyes.

As is being said so many places – when you put body armor, night sticks, guns, lethal flashlights, debilitating sprays, and tasers on a person and then send them to a situation that needs control – is it logical to expect them to listen, talk, and de-escalate? How many times have we now seen an officer screaming at a person to drop their weapon and the person does and then he’s shot?

I’m glad there were not riots in Minneapolis last night.

I’m glad so many of the reporters and spokespeople are black people. Even a few years ago we would have heard most of this story through white people. The culture around us is changing. Slowly. But its different.

Say her name, too.  Without Darnella Frazier, a 17-year-old with both the courage and the presence of mind to record Derek Chauvin that day, we would not be where we are now.  


Len and I read “Leaving Isn’t the Hardest Thing” by Lauren Hough. A compelling read and a powerful book.

Here’s a good review:

Hough (huff) was raised in the cult known as the Children of God or The Family. Remember them? Her story is often wrenching to read and take in. The cult becomes a sex cult. Women and girls are punished if they don’t welcome assault, molestation, and sometimes rape. There is sleep deprivation, hunger, abuse, beatings, and endless work. But here’s the thing. She isn’t writing to make you feel sorry for her specific story. She’s writing because her experience, extreme as it is, echoes many of our experiences. Or at least that was Len and I kept saying to each other.

If you were raised inside fearsome ideas of what you could and couldn’t do or of who you were allowed to be, you will hear parts of your story inside her story. You will recall a kid’s internal sense of how easy it would be to become an anathema to the only people they know. Her description of scared alienation is familiar.

Nope, neither Len nor I lived her experiences. Yet she writes eloquently of coming into her adolescence knowing she is gay, trying to figure out where she belongs, trying to make friends, trying to be cool enough to believe in herself. And then, failing at this until well into her 30’s. She learns skills. She gets jobs, has affairs with women, has really tough life experiences resulting from bias, prejudice, injustice, and poverty. Nothing makes her feel at home in the world until she goes back, regards where she came from, looks at the truth and makes some peace with it. This is a book for grownups.

Also, she swears a lot. She’s brilliantly sarcastic and sometimes I laughed out loud. Like when she’s fixing the cable hookups in Dick Cheney’s house. Her supervisor tells her to be careful because of his power. “What’s he going to do, waterboard me?”

The heavy, wild snow today. 

I remember my dad saying, “My father died in an April snowstorm.”

His father was ill with mumps that had swamped his system and turned into pneumonia. My grandmother tried to get a doctor, but they lived in the country and there was an April snowstorm, and a doctor couldn’t get to their farm.

It was 1929. My grandfather was 38 and grandma was 28. My dad was 10 and my uncle was 2.  I sometimes wonder if my dad and uncle were asleep in another room, or if they were present for the drama in their house that night, winds howling outside.

History turns on what happens and who is present and how it is remembered.

The snow is already gone. But here are two photos that Len took.




I didn't grow up in a cult but damn close to one. I caught the tail end of the NPR interview. I do want to scared about what it might bring up. I'll likely read it anyway though. I've processed all of that anyway...I think. :)
Mary Beth's picture

Yes, you will like it and her story will make you respect your own story more. It's odd to look at where one came from and realize how hard one had to work to get out from the worst if it. And then give yourself credit for that.

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New Mexico & Power in the Dollhouse

Yesterday Dr. Angel Fairy "healed" dollhouse beings with cupcakes sprinkles.


This afternoon is sunny and 70 degrees. I guess this is why we are leaving here to go somewhere else? Oh, the irony of leaving the Midwest in May.

We are leaving in the next few days for a road trip to New Mexico. The theme of this vacation will be (da-dum, da-dum) “Destination Today.” Which says we learned some things two years ago when we drove and drove and drove to eastern Canada. And then drove and drove and drove coming back. Too much driving, not enough stopping.

Dancing Lessons & What’s Next on Your List?

“Unexpected travel suggestions are dancing lessons from God.” Kurt Vonnegut

Yesterday I got a text at 5AM from one of our kids. “Mom, are you awake?”

Heart stops.

Heart starts again.

Nancy Drew (her cat) was sick. Nancy had been stumbling, rolling to her side, couldn’t walk, tried to jump up to our daughter’s bed and fell. Daughter took Nancy to a 24/7 emergency vet clinic.

Obviously, she had already done the only thing there was to do. Get to a vet.

A Wonderful Photo, Brownies, Voting Rights, Kids & their Books

These are things I thought about this week:

1. I am a person who has to use self-discipline to not bake cookies and desserts ALL THE TIME. I can go from “Hmm, brownies would be tasty” to made-from-scratch brownies in my mouth a half hour later.

Every strength - is also a weakness - is also a strength.

Here’s my brownie recipe from a Lutheran cookbook I impulse bought at McDonald’s Bakery in my hometown in the middle 1980’s when we were visiting my mom. I made these so often the cookbook fell apart at this recipe, so I threw the rest of the book away and just kept this.

Your Favorite Poster’s Post-Easter Post

I don’t often share my physical challenges with you, but today, Friends, I have suffered. I own three barrettes and I cannot find any of them and my hair has been slip-sliding into my eyes all day.

Why is it the littlest stuff that trips us up?

I could buy more barrettes and perhaps someday I will. Though I have learned this tricky lesson in my life - the more one owns of a small item, the more likely it is one will not keep track of that thing and it will become utterly lost.


MB's "Twilight Bark"

Today I am writing what I could most accurately describe as a Twilight Bark. As in, one dog barking a heartfelt warning to many other dogs. (Do NOT miss this Twilight Bark clip from YouTube.) 

On Friday Len went for his annual checkup. While there, he received a pneumonia vaccine, because after all the hoopla about the covid vaccines, the pneumonia shot is no big deal, right?

Len started feeling lousy that very afternoon and he still felt awful on Saturday. So we didn’t go to Chicago to visit our kids and grands. 

A Slower Week

Last week I had enough to say to write three posts. This week, not so much. This week I cooked and baked things to share with some friends who were having trickier than usual weeks. I wrote letters to the Third Graders. I always enclose some stickers (many from you guys) which are super cute, and I didn’t think any more about this, except, this week, one kid asked for a toy.

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