Mary Beth Writes

I know several of you have loved ones who work with people who have Covid. I have heard from you the cynicism of your loved ones who scramble for protective gear, who scramble for equipment, who slog through long, wrenching, and exhausting days. So when those loved ones hear from the media that they are heroes, it does not, in general, seem to impress them.  They shrug their shoulders and go home to sleep.

 Especially right now since most hospitals are “for profit” and Covid has wiped out the regular day-in and day-out work of medical care sites. So, in the middle of all this – CAREGIVERS ARE BEING LAID OFF, FURLOUGHED, AND REASSIGNED.

I thought I would bring up this up. It is patronizing to call someone else a hero if you have no skin in their game. To lump tens and hundreds of thousands of nurses, various kinds of therapists and techs, doctors, janitors, receptionists, EMTS, and interns all together and call them all heroes and clap and hoot .. and then walk away – that strikes me as a glibness that doesn’t bring light or help.

I wrote about my distrust of heroes last fall. (Read it here.)  I’m not going to rewrite that article.

But I am going to ask this question. If we want to understand and support our medical caregivers – what CAN we do that is possible, real, helpful, and respectful? 

I’m not against clapping for worn out people as they come off shift. That must be something to witness.

But what would mean more and go further?

This is an interview with an ER nurse in NYC.  (Thanks, Gary, for the URL.)  

Watch it here. 

 

I’ve written about this before, but not in this way. My grandfather was 38 when he died, unexpectedly, during an April snowstorm in 1929. The snowstorm was relevant because it meant the doctor could not get to the farmhouse where they lived. My grandfather had mumps that had spiraled into pneumonia.  It is now 91 years later and I still know when it happened - which is the point I am going to make.

Paul Danielson left behind a 28-year old widow and two little boys who were 10 and 2. His mortgaged farm reverted to the bank and my grandmother moved into town with her boys. I can still hear my dad describing how they survived the Depression. “We lived pillar to post.”

There was no Social Security, no safety net; they were the poster family for “food insecure.”  My grandmother and dad (a 4th grader) scrambled for work and my uncle, still a toddler (I have a 3 and 1-year old grandchild, this breaks my heart), was farmed out to relatives during the week because my grandmother couldn’t take care of him while she worked. By his early 20’s my dad’s teeth were so bad a dentist pulled them and gave him false teeth. That kind of pillar to post.

WWII brought a good job for grandma; my dad and uncle went into the military. They did okay after that.  They were amazing people although I think my dad and uncle invented Type A behavior. My dad died of his heart attack at 48 and my uncle died at 58. 

This is what I think of when a person with a young family dies unexpectedly. The loss of love and the loss of a partner to help keep a family going – that will ricochet through that family for generations. I know the parts of my own character that exist as antidote to the loss of the grandfather I never met. Loss does incredible things to a family’s story.

This nation never really figured out how to take care of Vietnam vets with PTSD. Maybe we are figuring out some of it with some of the vets from the Iraq/Afghanistan war.

We are looking right now at a new generation of children and parents who will have to figure out how to put themselves together after devastating loss.

 …

I walked 80 minutes this morning. This is not routine, but it’s no longer unusual. Len just now came back from his bike ride – he rode 40 miles!  This is crazy quarantine stuff, too. 

Are you exercising, especially outside, more than you used to? 

Are we claiming the athletic youth we never had?  Or is this just a continuation of the same old nutty?

 Len took more photos of the ospreys and this is one of them.

 

Comments

MB, I'm not, as you noted, planning to drive 1000 miles to see the ospreys, especially when I can see them here in such good photos. I asked where they were because I'm hoping they're close enough for you guys to see them easily. :) Sedgwick
Mary Beth's picture

Hah! Len rides the Drumlin Trail almost every time he goes out. You can't see them directly from the trail unless you know they are there. Then you can stop and walk over and watch them. So yes, Len has somewhat adopted them and I have shown you maybe 5 or 6 of his photos. At this point (he's not sure if there are eggs or when they will hatch) he has maybe 50-60 good photos!

Thank you

My sister was telling me about a young guy she was going to x-ray and his girlfriend, she recognized the girlfriends T-Shirt as being from Aldi's and said "I love that store, I sulute you... The girlfriend said ¿Why? "You are the Hero dealing with the covid -19 virus? My sister said this is the job I signed up for, I'm just doing what I'm supposed to do.... My job is to help people... But you didn't sign up for this, you don't get paid much and you deal with more people in a day than I do... You're The Hero... Smart Woman my Sister...
Mary Beth's picture

And no one lines up to clap for grocery store workers as they leave their shifts ...

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New Mexico & Power in the Dollhouse

Yesterday Dr. Angel Fairy "healed" dollhouse beings with cupcakes sprinkles.

...

This afternoon is sunny and 70 degrees. I guess this is why we are leaving here to go somewhere else? Oh, the irony of leaving the Midwest in May.

We are leaving in the next few days for a road trip to New Mexico. The theme of this vacation will be (da-dum, da-dum) “Destination Today.” Which says we learned some things two years ago when we drove and drove and drove to eastern Canada. And then drove and drove and drove coming back. Too much driving, not enough stopping.

Relief, Lauren Hough, April Snowstorm

Are we feeling the relief? Relief that we can see George Floyd’s face, his profile, that awful image of him under Chauvin’s knee – and feel some accountable closure to such a brazen murder?

I guess at least now, if one is a person of color and an officer kills you, I suppose they can kill you for a minute and still expect to get away with it but nine minutes is too long. Yes, that’s a cynical thing to say. We knew cops were entitled, but it's only in the past few years – because of cellphones – we have seen this entitled violence play out before our eyes.

Dancing Lessons & What’s Next on Your List?

“Unexpected travel suggestions are dancing lessons from God.” Kurt Vonnegut

Yesterday I got a text at 5AM from one of our kids. “Mom, are you awake?”

Heart stops.

Heart starts again.

Nancy Drew (her cat) was sick. Nancy had been stumbling, rolling to her side, couldn’t walk, tried to jump up to our daughter’s bed and fell. Daughter took Nancy to a 24/7 emergency vet clinic.

Obviously, she had already done the only thing there was to do. Get to a vet.

A Wonderful Photo, Brownies, Voting Rights, Kids & their Books

These are things I thought about this week:

1. I am a person who has to use self-discipline to not bake cookies and desserts ALL THE TIME. I can go from “Hmm, brownies would be tasty” to made-from-scratch brownies in my mouth a half hour later.

Every strength - is also a weakness - is also a strength.

Here’s my brownie recipe from a Lutheran cookbook I impulse bought at McDonald’s Bakery in my hometown in the middle 1980’s when we were visiting my mom. I made these so often the cookbook fell apart at this recipe, so I threw the rest of the book away and just kept this.

Your Favorite Poster’s Post-Easter Post

I don’t often share my physical challenges with you, but today, Friends, I have suffered. I own three barrettes and I cannot find any of them and my hair has been slip-sliding into my eyes all day.

Why is it the littlest stuff that trips us up?

I could buy more barrettes and perhaps someday I will. Though I have learned this tricky lesson in my life - the more one owns of a small item, the more likely it is one will not keep track of that thing and it will become utterly lost.

Anyway…

MB's "Twilight Bark"

Today I am writing what I could most accurately describe as a Twilight Bark. As in, one dog barking a heartfelt warning to many other dogs. (Do NOT miss this Twilight Bark clip from YouTube.) 

On Friday Len went for his annual checkup. While there, he received a pneumonia vaccine, because after all the hoopla about the covid vaccines, the pneumonia shot is no big deal, right?

Len started feeling lousy that very afternoon and he still felt awful on Saturday. So we didn’t go to Chicago to visit our kids and grands. 

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