Mary Beth Writes

1. I hate that each day when I start these diary entries, I have to look up yesterday’s posting to see what number I’m on because it’s too high to stick in my head. Today is #36.  Yes it is.

2. I hate that each day as I read tweets and FB posts and look at the NYT and WaPO and other websites - I HATE that there is always brand new news about the devasting effects of this disease and how poorly the government is responding. 

3. I’m really iffy on religion lately. I see no way any religion makes sense when people in dire poverty will die from this – because how do you social distance when you sleep in a box or six to a one-room shack? To say that my God loves me and that is why I am held in the palm of His hand – means to me that others must be less loved by the divine because they are going to suffer and die like riffraff blowing down the street.  It makes me angry when theology preaches that there is a divine rationale that will even this all out later. 

I believe in community; I believe that kindness is always an act of faith - so most of us need a faith community.

But I hate religion that says. “Don’t worry, God’s got this.”

History says otherwise.

4. I hate that I have not been in a Goodwill store in six weeks. Once, a few months ago, two old guys were shopping together. One held a pack of adult diapers and was earnestly saying to the other, “This price is great. These things are so expensive and she and I both need them, and this will help us out a lot.” There was a whole novel in there and I got tears in my eyes and I miss the poignancy of scrappy people.

5.  I hate that I can’t zip into the grocery store to pick out exactly what we want. Len picked up our order today and instead of bouillon cubes the guy gave us “Bou” brown Gravy maker. Anyone want it?

6. I hate that our groceries come in plastic bags again. We had converted to reusable bags for the groceries and other purchases. We used mesh produce bags instead of those filmy store bags.  And now we are back to plastic bags inside of plastic bags inside of plastic bags.  We throw them all away because the point of having someone else shop for us is to avoid potential virus droplets. But I hate this.

7. I hate that children are stuck inside their homes with their weary and sometimes awful parents.  When I volunteered in a local school   – sometimes at the end of the day the teachers would ask kids to complete the sentence “The best thing that happened today and the hardest thing that happened today.”  And each and every time the “hardest thing” - was having to go home.  These little kids, many of whom had spent rough and frustrating days not understanding or doing their work … these same children would say the worst part of their day was leaving school to go home.  I hate what that represents.  

8. I hate that there are still no comprehensive roll-out of tests to determine who has been exposed and who hasn’t and how to proceed safely.

9. I hate some politicians. Real bad.

10. I hate that The reason Guatemala is now starting their crisis is because more than half of the undocumented Guatemala immigrants we expelled from the US were postive for Covid. So we sent this disease to one of the poorest nations on earth. Good going. Source here. 

What do you hate about living in this time of Coronavirus quarantine?

(Tomorrow I will try to come up with positive things from this quarantine.)




I hate that people are dying and grieving alone. That there is no horizon. That my job now involves phone calls to 70 families each week right now on top of working with the kids. And that I have to learn weird new social skills like communicating with a mask on, communicating that, yes, I really do want that extra large personal space bubble, and people a little closer to my inner circle are starting to get sick.
Mary Beth's picture

This is really it. Loss and suffering. I'm so sorry.

So awful!!!!!

I hate that I had to make masks for my 3 and 5 year old grandchildren .....but somebody had to do it. I am glad that I could. I hate that the powers -that-be have dragged their collective ass on a national response I hate that so many will be hungry because unemployment checks are slow getting to them. I hate that my church would not cancel a 120 person event on March 14 that I opted out of. I hate that there is so little I can do to help others.
Mary Beth's picture

Those three hour lines of cars waiting to get a box of food - that's so scary. And needless.

I hate that those people ranting and raving about the government taking away their constitutional and god given rights don't give a damn about my rights or those of other people of color when it's been happening to us for way longer than this... And yet they cry fowl when someone steps on their white privilege rights... The line forms HERE...
Mary Beth's picture

Puerto Rico, knowing that no help could be depended on from this govt - was one of the first places to respond. Look at this: One more female leader who acted like a leader.

I'm proud of you for stopping at 10!
Mary Beth's picture

The county sheriff of Racine came out on TV today - saying he will not enforce Safer at Home. The TV stations all covered this plus other protesting-quarantine measures None of the local or national networks mentioned the sick, hospitalized, or death count in Wisconsin today. That's where I could start my second round of ten. 4000 people in Wisconsin are officially positive (not including ones that can't get testing.) 200 have died. But by God, don't take away my right to golf.

All very valid comments. One other “hate” I hate not being able to hug my loved ones. I hate living in fear around other human beings. I want that personal bubble too. I hate wearing a mask but I’m afraid not too. I hate all the human suffering.
Mary Beth's picture

Friends from church have stopped by to sit six feet away and I love that but it is so weird to not hug when they arrive. I met my new neighbor yesterday, we both reached forward to shake hands - and then we both rocked back. Crazy.
Leonard's picture

I hate that the Waukesha County Executive Paul Farrow won't listen to the CEO of the Medical College of Wisconsin, who agreed with the Governor's extension of the stay-at-home order (which the doctor called "flexible"). I wish the County Executive would direct his anger at the disease instead of at people trying to save lives. And, if he has so much energy, perhaps he could help get testing, contact tracing and PPE gear for health workers.

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Remembering Stuff

“I’m getting so old. I just can’t remember anything anymore.”

Okay, I understand and accept that forgetfulness is weird and awkward. We talk to someone about this movie and that house repair and that small restaurant from which we ordered amazing food a few weeks ago and it feels as if we are talking with 95% of the words we used to know. What was that guy’s name? Where did I read that really powerful thing about political strategy now?

Ayad Akhtar's "Homeland Elegies" & Do We Understand Colonialism?

I heard part of an NPR / Fresh Air interview with writer Ayad Akhtar so I borrowed the book from the library and read it.

In the 1960’s his parents earned medical degrees in Pakistan and then emigrated to the US where Ayad was born and has lived all his life. (His parents are now deceased.) His dad was a highly respected cardiologist. In the 1990’s, when Donald Trump was having heart issues, Dr. Akhtar was flown to NYC to examine Trump.

Susan's Birthday Questions 10/19/2020

(One decorates for October birthdays with orange trees.) 

Last week was my birthday. My niece Susan sometimes sends me birthday greetings where she asks excellent questions. She doesn’t know I still have the card she sent six years ago; I meant to answer her questions in the blog I had then, but I never got around to it.

Stereotypes Day

Today is October 12th - Indigenous Peoples’ Day. Not Columbus Day, okay?

I was in the process of giving birth to one of our kids and it was getting on towards midnight. The midwife wondered whether our baby would be born on the day we were in or whether it would be a few more minutes and then the child would have the next day as their birthday.

10/11/2020 This Crazy Advent We're In Now

This painting is by Andrea Kowch


Regarding Time: It’s been about a million months since the quarantine started. It will be an at least one epoch if not two, until a vaccine is available to quell it. Election Day is here now (I’ve already voted, have you?) yet it feels as if it will never be done and gone. Even when Nov 3 arrives we could be in for more epochs of anxious and angry waiting as ballots are tallied, argued over, recounted, all while lawyers and politicians fight and scrap.

Quarantine Diary #204 10/4/2020 3 Short Takes

Three things to say today and none are about our goatish, swag-bellied, canket-blossomed president. How to create a Shakespearean insult. 

1. I just read this WONDERFUL and REMARKABLE book! The House in the Cerulean Sea by TJ Klune

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